It’s time for a good laugh! A belly shaking, rolling on the floor laugh…AND an English lesson to boot! My love affair with words was nourished by an email that was sent to me by a friend. It challenges the English language while giving a good laugh and marvels the astonishment about how things get to be what they are and why. Curious? Read on. 

Subject: I love English  

I love English
Can you read these right the first time?  

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.  

2) The farm was used to produce produce.  

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 

4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.  

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.  

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum 

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.  

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 

13) They were too close to the door to close it 

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.  

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.  

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.  

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language
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 Lovers of the English language might enjoy this too . . .  

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?  

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. 

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.  

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.  

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.  

When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP.  

Fess UP… you like this! 

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so………… Time to shut UP…..!  

Oh…one more thing: 

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P 

Are you laughing hard enough yet?!

The choice words we may be using worldwide, in reference to the way the economy is impacting all of us, is not just slang -but down right cursing!  Forget proper etiquette!  Forget which candidate is promising what!  Forget “severance pay” and health care costs, and fuel cost, and that General Motors just laid off thousands of salaried people along with the highest unemployment rate in years…and the fact that a lot of Americans can hardly feed their families, much less the animals! Forget it! 

Which wars are we going to fight?!  The one in another country, while others are threatening?!  Fight the housing war?  The Fuel War?  The employment War? 

Sigh.  O.k. It’s time to start screaming that we are fed up and we are NOT going to take it anymore!  America does NOT get this bad economically, we were suppose to learn from the Great Depression!  Can we learn from a Recession?

Republicans and Democrats are fighting about who created this mess. As usual, hindsight serves no one.  The debates come off as a mere game of who can outdo the other, and really does not help us to see WHO is really qualified for what our country needs at this fearful time…regardless of party…who really cares WHICH party wins, as much as “who can get us straightend out again and WHOM can we really believe?”

A friend of mine called last night really depressed.  I asked her what I could do, and she said, “ask my sister to back off of the political wagon and her one-sided views…I’m sick of it all and what’s going on in our country and I’m really down about it.” 

I assured her that it will all turn around again.  This has happened before.  America WILL survive the economic hardships and threats from any other nations…because the heart and soul of AMERICA is just that…survival.  We have had good presidents, and we have had bad ones, but as flawed as the system seems to be at times, we still have to admit it works. But it takes more than the political powers, it takes ALL of us.

As a citizen and cheerleader of our country, I say let’s all get out our flags, remember the meaning of Independence Day, and wait patiently and frugally for things to get better.  Easy to say, hard to do… but remember, the higher power has the MOST power of any candidate, or living human being on earth.  Perhaps it is time for us to remember to vote for HIM and HIS power of influence and decision-making.   God, Please Bless America and All Nations.